what's next?

what's next in my life??

everything is just so complicated

i don't even know where i am anymore

do you know the feeling when you have this wish that you really want it to come true but everyone around you think that it's a stupid wish?

i wish if i can lose my ability to talk

to lose my voice to be a person who just keep watching everything that goes around and give the situation this virgin smile

to have the right to take my eyes away each and everytime i see something without people asking me why did i looked away , they won't even care if i exist because i can't talk so what's the point of me seeing

**

anywho

i hate this feeling when you try to defend your right's , to defined something you believe in and all of a sudden you are the faulty one!!

for god sake sometimes it's too obvious but they just shut there eyes , because you are not them dearest friend so they are not supposed to stand by your side

all of a sudden you become the problem and all your world fall apart

i really hate it because everyone thinks that am a bad gurl who searchs for the problems but they never realize that they only looked at the problem from one side , they know just a little part . just enough to make them hurt you and make you you cry

and after that when everyone stands against you

no one

no one at all is there for you

they laugh while you cry cause they think it doesn't worth it

what hurts the most is when a fugly b*t*h brings up the nationality subject and start joking about you and you can't say a word because you are suppose to respect what ever it is

am happy that am persian

am satisfied

i love my country and i do love my nationality

i have lots of things to be proud of like it's enough that it a big one

it's enough that they produce them own needs

foods. gaz. petrol, clothes, houses, everything

they can survive without the need of other countries to feed them

what ever am not that good in this politics thing it's just that i love my country and i don't mind bieng a persian actually am proud

it just hurt that i couldn't smack her face or pull on her hair or break her legs or what ever i was reall angry at that time

wee3 wee3 everything is just getting worse

m.s is driving me crazy

colleage is buging me

things i used to believe in all of a sudden i lost my faith in them

and i feel like i hate everyone around me everyone and all ineed is to be left alone and this just doesn't seems like it's ganna happen

whatever

i've reached a point where i don't care if anything goes wrong

if everyone hate me

if i lose everything

i just want my wish to come true